My Trip to Asia 2010 - Part 2: Friends

Other than Bali and Davao, I did not expect to meet my friends in this trip.

Meeting Korean friends from elementary school is always a gamble (due to the temporal gap of over 13 years and cultural changes I had gone through). I do have a number of friends from college in Manila, but as I prioritize my parents, I had to give up meeting my friends in Manila - it was a painful but necessary decision.

Despite of my worries, I have been in touch with a couple of my friends in Korea of my elementary school days. Many are surprised that we have kept in touch, but I guess given the fact that we all grew up in a small town outside of Seoul made us feel pretty close - or maybe they were just that nice to me.

1) Monday, the day after my arrival in Korea, at 명동, I had lunch with Fr. Joseph. He also is a very good friend of mine, but who is actually feels like an uncle to me at heart. (He actually is related to me by being a cousin to my cousin.) We had a long lunch with a nice dishes of 문어냉채, 게죽, 야채죽, 파전 and 막걸리. It was such a hot day and he knew it's been forever since I drank the Korean traditional rice wine. 

I was honestly a little surprised to find him active in several environmental movements against some of the government policies. I mean I knew he has been involved in environmental matters in past, but this time he stood as one of the leaders and vocal one. It's true that our views are a little different, but I am not immature enough to judge one person and discard just based on the difference in political views.

After the lunch, I met with an old friend RHC. He has been always a kid who had been a good buddy despite of 3 year age gap during my elementary years. Funny how a kid's character was still observed after 15 years of not seeing each other. We did keep in touch once in several years. Too bad we only could share a cup of coffee because I was getting too tired and I wanted to spend some time with my relatives. It was great to see him doing so well after the health issues he had to go through. One person I should keep in touch with.

2) On Wednesday night, I finally met with some of my close friends (classmates) from elementary school days: 2 girls and 1 dude. I admit I was not particularly close to MBK, but I became an ardent fan of her works (www.moonbbo.com) and I have been keeping in touch for some time with her through her website - not to mention our dads are friends. HJH is probably one of my oldest friends (since when I was in nursery), and I still felt that we were really old friends. We did have IM sessions once in several years, but I gave a shot in meeting her. (It's funny to note that our moms are friends, too.) I haven't met these girls ever since I left Korea in 1996, I was worried that we'd be awkward but we somehow were in touch through emails and IM, so I was thinking it should be alright. LSH is one of my closest and very best friends in my last years in Korea. I had met him about 7-8 years ago with his ex-girlfriend, also a close friend, but honestly, he is closer to my heart and I had to choose to contact only him and meet him. A simple fact of friendship among boys, I guess. 

Those three were not close among themselves, so I had to serve as the medium of conversations even though all of they were living in Seoul while we discussed when and where to meet before my departure to Korea. It was a pain in the ass and I complained to them fairly. :-)

In Korea, I contacted most of them through text messages as I borrowed my cousin's phone and I found it challenging to send Korean test messages, which means I enjoyed the thrill of completing a message. On Tuesday, I got a call from MBK, I swear I stuttered at her giggles. But I also felt being very welcomed.

HJH thankfully arranged to gather us at an Italian restaurant in 삼성동. I was early and so was she, so we had our quite time together first until our reservation at an Italian restaurant was up. She was the same as I remembered; her face and her voice was just as I remembered. That was amusing. I have seen her pictures, but to see her in person didn't give me any weird sense and felt the old-rooted friendship in our conversation over coffee (hers) and peppermint tea (mine) at Coffee Bean. When the time came, we headed to the Italian restaurant she reserved, and I just ordered my usual wine in chianti (Ruffino). I didn't realize that I was the only wine drinker among all. 

Had pastas that had some hint of pungency with added pepper flavors, which were hard to come by in the USA and also had a "pizza" that was very herbal and sweet with BBQ sauce on the top. It was thin crust but soft so you could roll it to eat. 

MBK arrived a little while later, and she also didn't show much change than how I remembered in her look except that she had gotten taller and became very charming... but her personality was not exactly how I remembered it to be. She was very much more amiable - just like how she sounded over the phone the day before we met. 

LSH came the last because he was traveling from Suwon. 

During our "first round", I fully revealed my clumsiness by almost breaking the wine glass I was holding twice with loud "clanks", but everyone was kind enough not to mention anything. HJH even rearranged plates so that I wouldn't hit them again. I was so abashed for fully exposing my clumsiness.

Soon after LSH had a couple bites, I paid for the dinner and we moved to an izakaya. There, my friends really opened up - I really think wine is not for Koreans now. Shot glasses of sake and soju were the keys and the ways to go. It got fun thanks to all the talks led by LSH. I don't know, I felt a little shy at times, I think. Sigh me.

One funny incident (also depicted by MBK in her website) occurred. HJH was sitting next to me, and MBK was next to LSH on the other side of the table. Out of the blue, one dude from the other table came over to ask HJH's number. We were dumbfounded because this dude was half drunk and was incredibly bashful in front of her. It was fun because HJH has been pretty ever since she was a kid, but I didn't know much about the perception of beauty in Korea and being a friend to her since our baby days made me rather dull to her looks, I guess. I didn't see her anything but an old good friend. It was also fun because I didn't know how Koreans ask people out, and it was my first encounter to observe how it was done and ended up in peril. 

I felt sorry for the dude, but yeah, the dude wasn't good enough for her in my first glance.

At 2:30 AM, we departed the izakaya and HJH had to leave - she had to work in the next morning. I felt so bad so we held our hands softly as she got into a taxi. As for three of us, we moved to near 강남역 and found ourselves in a place to drink 막걸리 and 닭똥집 (something I've not had for years). On our way to 강남역, in our taxi, I asked LSH to text HJH to tell us once she arrives her place safely, and MBK commented that I was very caring and meticulous. Korean men need to learn manners (there will be a separate post on this).

MBK was with us until almost 4:00 AM, and we talked about some stupid stuff. Come to think of it, I have no idea why we talked about such mattes. Embarrassing. I tried to walk with her until she gets a taxi, but she refused. I felt sorry about it. I did feel pretty bad about it and still do.

Once she departed, LSH and I had a guy-to-guy talk. I don't know why, but I seem to bring out the most hidden stories of people, especially guys. In discussing our downs of lives, I felt like we were real friends who have always been in touch for all these years. I guess this is how guys are and why this friendship among guys last so long. It felt like we were friends without any spatial and temporal gaps in our communications.

At 6:15 AM, we freaked out at the bright sun light through skyscrapers, as LSH had to catch a bus to go back to Suwon for his work. We finally found a bus and he had to go to work in the same clothes that he came to Seoul with the night before (or the same clothes he went to work the day before). It was something to remember from the beginning through the end. I dozed off in my subway back to my cousin's place.

One night I ain't gonna forget.

3) In Bali, I was in a small villa-like hotel with KJK. The person I was originally going to Bali with had changed her mind and I didn't want to be alone and I asked KJK for a favor to come to Bali. We haven't met for 4 years since his last visit to SF for a couple of days. I came to know a large number of people in college but I have only a few whom I can call as real close friends and he despite of spending only one year as a classmate is one. We still talk through IM very often and he was in relatively close distance from Bali.

KJK and I discuss regarding practically everything from politics, technology, finance, relationships, family, etc. But the depth of conversation while you are sitting face-to-face is certainly different from those through IMs and emails. Funny that how much we click despite both being immensely socially handicapped - but I am slightly better than he is; just slightly.

Every night in hotel room, with a couple bottles of local beer Bintang, we discussed a great deal of this and that. Every supper was also had such discussions. Isn't that what friends supposed to do? Keep talking and sharing? We did so.

In Bali was my good friend MFE's wedding reception. To see him in happy open arms as he noticed me when he approached our table was a bliss. In the wedding reception was also ED. We didn't have a chance to talk much during the reception night, but we spent a good deal of time talking about dark secrets of Jesuits (as they were ex-Jesuits and I almost was one) in the night after until the time was well past 2 AM. It also happened to be MFE's birthday as well.

I felt happiness in him when his wife kissed him good night and wishing happy birthday, and I was happy for them.

Back in the days, MFE, ED and I discussed this and that often that were as deep as Galois theory or Nietzsche, whether we were sober or drunk, and nothing could stop our discussions. Something like places where the discussion was taking its place not our concern. We often imitated what Richard Feynman did to infuse himself with new ideas and encouragements to research.

MFE and ED are both well older than I am, but we always clicked. (Most of my close friends are well older than me.) MFE especially was more around because he was not just a philosophy major like ED, but double-majoring math, so we spent a great deal amount of time together. He often filled the social void in my life because he always has very amiable and social person.

My worst days of Manila were spent with KJK and best days of Manila were spent with MFE. Both are so dear to me. (I should visit JYK형 in Texas soon. He actually went through all my ups and downs while I was in Manila. Writing about my Manila friends do make me think of him.)

4) In Davao I arrived. I didn't tell many I was visiting because Davao is such a small place that everyone soon would know that I arrived and I knew I wouldn't be able to meet many of them. I only contacted JB, SLT, MGS and DY among my Davao friends. I did inform some of my Manila friends about my visit, but they all knew that we won't be meeting since I was not going to make anymore than a transit stop at Manila. 

SLT wanted meet me on the day of my arrival, but there was no way I would leave my parents that day (and there was a matter with a lost baggage to attend until late afternoon) - and that became the only chance I could have met with DY. On Wednesday freaking early morning arrived was RSL from Manila. He was, thankfully, willing to visit me from Manila. Made me feel good about the group of friends I keep around. :-)

On Wednesday evening, I finally met my closest friends from my high school days that are still in Davao - SLT, JB and MGS. Of course RSL joined our dinner. Knowing my love for wine, I bet they had a hard time trying to figure out where to eat, and we landed at a German restaurant. I knew I was the only wine drinker among the members, but I ordered a bottle of syrah anyway. I had a beef steak, JB ordered ostrich steak, SLT ordered kangaroo (and regretted), MGS ordered ravioli and RSL ordered salmon. It was all about delightful gossip then. After dinner, we headed to a frozen yogurt place. I still regret my comment of "XXXXing pXXXXXXXXX". But they know I meant no harm. They know me well and give me comfort enough to be 100% me. RSL of course is social enough to handle the conversations among us Davao people, and I didn't worry much. I just hoped that the other three weren't too uncomfy with him around.

SLT is my oldest friend from the Philippines, who literally made me survive the first year by not refusing to answer all my questions to him every night on what were the homeworks and shit, because there was no way I understood the teachers. MGS and I got close because of all the math contests we were teammates, and JB and I got close... not sure what was the exact occasion. Hahaha. Was it all the guitar crap or she reviewing my corny ass writings? I really don't know, but my final years with her was fun in high school. Too bad MIC was not around among all others. Too bad I got lost touch with several other guys, too. But I guess I probably would not have had time to meet everyone.

RSL and I were neighbors and classmates for 2.5 years in college days. Almost every evening, out of my tiny cell I would climb 3 stories to go to his room and hang out with him and his roommates/friends. Maybe RSL is one of three people I spent the most time with during my college days.

After I met them, I had some time to think of the old days, and my mom was also there to remind me of things I told her of them. No offense to friends I made in the US and friends I made after 18, but I feel a clear distinction of friends that I made before 18 and after 18. I guess turning into an adult certainly did a thing.

Thursday, SLT, RSL and I went to Ahfat for lunch, a restaurant now managed by one of our friends, PA. PA is always nice and easy going dude, and also close to my parents because Ahfat and my mom's store are neighbors. He was kind enough to buy several durians to prank on RSL, and for us to eat. He actually helped us a lot in coming up with a beach to go.

Later that afternoon, RSL, SLT and I went to a resort called Hof Gorei. We wanted to go to Pearl Farm, but Bosch booked the whole place for the company and did not allow even a day-tour visitor. I didn't swim and perhaps SLT and I spent the best time to play in water watching Ratatouille and laughing our asses off. Still fun. Also I won the poker game, which was too late because our food was so late, and everyone was tired.

Friday, SLT and I left the resort earlier than RSL because SLT had to do chores for his business and I had errands to run as well. I also went to my high school to visit old folks mainly OH and HV. I honestly was a little awkward to meet HV, but I knew we were old enough to keep everything in good terms. I also was lucky enough to meet my favorite Chinese teacher who already had retired due to health issues. A number of teachers still remembered me well, and it was fun. It always amazes me how they keep teaching, but I know how fulfilling teaching can be. Meeting OH always reminds me of the days when everything was fun and when I was unaware of the world outside of school and math/puzzles. I wish I could have talked more with HV, but I didn't want any more troubles that whatever may incur, she is a loss as a friend. DM was still in China, so there weren't exactly a buddy to hang out with in school no more. 

It was certainly embarrassing to find my picture in the banner for school history in the 90s. I was so thin, and lacked some serious hair styling. But if my parents had seen it, I know they would felt proud. There weren't many people in the 90s banner and I were right by the center with OH, MGS and MIC.

Friday night, a family friend invited my family and RSL for a fancy dinner at a Spanish restaurant. We chugged 3 extravagant chateau bottles, steaks, salmon and paella. They have always been mentors to me, and they were very content with the way I grew up away from home. 

RSL left us high and drunk and I felt bad that I didn't spend more quality time with him, but I also warned him that my focus no.1 of this trp is my parents. Next time, I will have more time.

Saturday night, my last dinner was with my parents, SLT and MGS. I wasn't sure about meeting my friends that night originally because I wanted to spend full last 24 hours in Davao only with my parents, but the yearning could not overcome. (I do lack friends in the US especially as I focused a lot on my career and studies at the same time.) Too bad JB could not make it to the dinner because she was at a wedding for the whole afternoon. Good tuna sashimi, tuna BBQ, and some more sea food dishes, and we left to join SLT's family at a crepe place. Sadly, it was only the second time I saw SLT's mom. After a good pie, a good crepe in Bango and SLT's horrible orange crepe, we parted our ways. I was lucky because MGS didn't forget to take pictures this time. After a nice bro-handshake with SLT and a hug with MGS, I was driving home. 

Too bad I didn't get a chance to take picture with JB in the wrong anticipation on Wednesday night that I would meet her again. Well, next time.

On my last night and my last day, I started calling Manila friends. Each conversation was also very delightful. ML cracked up so much I think he was laughing 95% of the time; JM was also nice and complimented my accent later on to ML; cursing at MT was fun and I am not sure he was glad that it was I calling/texting him or because he found no one was trying to kill him. Calling RC was not something I didn't know I could do it, but did it anyway. She misunderstood that I was in Manila and asked to meet at the very moment. I felt surprised in a good way because meeting some people without a prior appointment is something I haven't done much in the US. I so wanted to see JJX and her daughter, but of course to no avail.

----

This trip turned out to be very socially oriented pilgrimage rather than anything else. Well, I don't think I actually had a clear idea how this trip would unfold as several changes had to be made regarding my stay in Korea and Bali just a couple of weeks before I had to leave.

No, I didn't take many pictures because of my laziness, but I also prefer to keep everything in my memory which certainly can remember a lot in detail. On my flight back to SF, when I was awake, I was horribly worried that I would not be able to adjust to my life of living alone because I was constantly surrounded by people that made each moment pleasant throughout the trip except the times I spent in flight and in Singapore. 

Thankfully, I was sane enough not to feel lonely and alone back at home, instead I was still dwelt in the warmth of their presence and memory of them. I am still, I think.

That's the group of my friends I have. I have innumerable acquaintances because of my unusual background, and I barely have a handful of friends in each location, but they are some people I don't mind sacrificing a whole lot of me for their good and I know it's the same for them. So as long as I can manage to keep in touch with them and not be too overwhelmed by my laziness, our friendships will remain good and get better.

It was so great to get back in touch with friends in Korea, especially. I have been in touch with my high school and college friends on some level all the time, but I was absolutely out of touch with Korean friends except MBK. Friends are meant to be kept for a lifetime, they are not lovers who come and go.