TOW The Face

The Face...

It's a metaphor Emmanuel Levinas used to say, "the best way of encountering the Other is not even to notice the color of his eye!"

Something I read about two years ago during my philosophy class. Too bad my understanding of those texts only came a year after I first read them.

Yes, we have to encounter the "infiniteness" of the Other, and that is best done when you are not looking at the face. But you know what? Even the idea of very existence of the Other sometiems creeps me out.

I am very afraid of meeting people.
I enjoy going to coffee shops. There, I get a sit at the very corner, and enjoy to look at others in the coffee shop. I read and study, and when I rest, I just look at all those people. I scan through their faces, what they do... Sometimes, I think it should have been just like the way biologists look at rats in a cage.

I am very afraid of people. I dislike going to malls or going to where there are many people.

However, I find it very stupid and strange, that I am here at my cell all the time, using my computer, opening running my messenger as soon as my computer is connected to Internet. Yes, I may have blocked most of the friends added to my list. However, I do get on-line almost all the time when I am in this cell.

Why?
Thirsty of human touch?
I do not know. I thought I enjoy to observe whether people get online and do whatever they do. I do observe, but there must be some reason why I always do this kinds of things.

Am I just another human? Wishing for human touch? Wishing to be a part of society? Am I that coward to go for meeting and interacting with people?

Asking these questions simply tells me I am somewhat sick. Yet, almost everyone in the world is having mental problems. Ah, so I am just a normal person. Just another human. Just another simple one.