Too Much Expectation

Why did I give up doing mathematics?

Was it for money? Partly...
Was it for myself? Not really...

Ijust cannot live withthe fact of existence of people striving everyday survival.



I thought, I believed that if I study economics, learn some more, I could do more...
but now that I am already with a thesis topic (microfinance) and strongly engaging on poverty reduction progress (if there is) I am very disappointed.

I can't believe after all the work done, there is not much to be said of poverty reduction.
Some of ecnomic ideas are so much trapped.

As a person who lived in a fast developing country, like Korea,
in a country where the extreme poverty is not so far, like the Philippines,
and in a country where all capitalism economic models are originated, the US,
I can see a lot that even a lot of people couldn't see and can't see.

But, I am just a small person,
and probably trying to bring out more changes for the poverty reduction might not be happening so soon...

I have concrete ideas, but I know many will go against it...
so I am not saying anything unless I am in a positoin where I can earn some respect.

Yesterday, there was a landslide in Leyte, Philippines.
My heart was crushed.
I read all I could, and I was disheartened.
Especially because it was the Philippines.
Although I didn't cry like I did when the typhoon hit eastern Luzon last time...

I know I can make some changes.
A lot of changes.
But I can't do it now.

Until then, I'd have to pretend that I am scholar, studying the nature of economies with existence of poverty, or the nature of economies where the poverty is relatively prevailed.
It's kinda sad...
Until then, I can't do math...

But I believe, as much as I sacrificed, and as long as I try hard, there will be something in return.