I know this may sound weird,
but there are times when I look up in the sky (geez, I don't even have luxury to look up the sky these days),
I feel like I can feel the earth rotating; I feel I can see the circumference of the earth's horizon.
Of course it's impossible considering the size of the earth and my height (or anyone's height for that matter),
but there are times I feel like I do.
And I feel that way when I am neither drunk nor tired,
I felt that way when I was extremely clear in my mind (not high, never been high my entire life).
These days, I really don't have such luxury of taking a moment to absorb my surroundings.
But even without looking up in the sky, I sense that things are circling around me.
I feel that I am beginning to find my locus, again - not in my spirit as I meditate and look up in the sky, but through my deeds and activities.
Interestingly, I am also continuously suffering from some insatiable drive to make something better and meaningful out of me.
It's still not the state of being I desire, but it's also of a state that I can't really complain.
Deep inside, I still want a weekend away by myself, with nothing but a book about life in my hand and stay at some small motel by beach.
I lived in this insatiable drive for so many recent years,
I think I am getting accustomed to it and naturally learned to find my locus somehow in the midst of the crazy drive, whether that's been traditional or not.
I am just saying, while this is still good, I still seek peace.
PS: Was just intending to write a little, after reading Coelho's saying "when you write, you understand yourself better." It's been so crazy, I haven't read his last two books. I need to get those readings done soon...
PPS: Sigh... See myself pressuring myself to read those books again. 2:20 AM. I gotta crash.
but there are times when I look up in the sky (geez, I don't even have luxury to look up the sky these days),
I feel like I can feel the earth rotating; I feel I can see the circumference of the earth's horizon.
Of course it's impossible considering the size of the earth and my height (or anyone's height for that matter),
but there are times I feel like I do.
And I feel that way when I am neither drunk nor tired,
I felt that way when I was extremely clear in my mind (not high, never been high my entire life).
These days, I really don't have such luxury of taking a moment to absorb my surroundings.
But even without looking up in the sky, I sense that things are circling around me.
I feel that I am beginning to find my locus, again - not in my spirit as I meditate and look up in the sky, but through my deeds and activities.
Interestingly, I am also continuously suffering from some insatiable drive to make something better and meaningful out of me.
It's still not the state of being I desire, but it's also of a state that I can't really complain.
Deep inside, I still want a weekend away by myself, with nothing but a book about life in my hand and stay at some small motel by beach.
I lived in this insatiable drive for so many recent years,
I think I am getting accustomed to it and naturally learned to find my locus somehow in the midst of the crazy drive, whether that's been traditional or not.
I am just saying, while this is still good, I still seek peace.
PS: Was just intending to write a little, after reading Coelho's saying "when you write, you understand yourself better." It's been so crazy, I haven't read his last two books. I need to get those readings done soon...
PPS: Sigh... See myself pressuring myself to read those books again. 2:20 AM. I gotta crash.
