I can feel that some kinda positive energy is starting to bud.
How long have I waited for this.
Almost 1.5 years... Maybe 2 years?
I tried so hard for almost 2 years for this to happen: generating some positive energy from within.
But it's been difficult and it's been actually impossible by myself.
Despite of all the fear and unfamiliarity of human interactions, it had to be human interactions.
Interactions, not just my part but needed at least a counter part.
I tried so hard to generate on my own, and nobody acknowledged.
Nobody even knew that I was trying for it.
Nobody.
Not one soul on this earth knew it, even those ones I thought were the closest.
Oh well.
It's the past, and now is now, just as the future is another matter.
As I once said, life is full of separate dots forming a line. Each dot, denoting a temporal unit, is separate - not connected. (But taking a step back means you see a line... Of course, another step back would mean it will be just another dot.)
I hope this barely-budding positive energy would bloom well.
I need one.
Soon, my hellish schedule of work+exams would begin again, and I really could use some inner strength.
These days, I can feel myself being active and energized at things to do again.
Come to think of it, I tried to hold on to the dying roots of my latest positive energy wave... maybe too long.
When both my mind and body are finally tired to death after all the physical and mental troubles for last 2 years, this happens - when it's not expected at all.
How funny... So I live.
