When I think about those great mathematicians, I tend to think of one thing.That is, most of them were bachelors, eccentric, and some were even crazy.
A number of mathematical geniuses were dead in their youth. That is why, I seldom feel that if I don't make something in early twenties, I feel I would never discover or even write a simple thesis on mathematics.
With all the worries, I, then, began to read books about mathematicians, about their lives and social activities. However, in reading those kinds of books, what I most felt is that those mathematicians’ lives were dominated by solitude, alienation, despair, loneliness, eccentricity, and very unique personality – although I often, also, discovered their humane nature, innocent humor, and care for other people.
I do seldom feel all those feelings, and I do think that I will live a life like those ones. It's not that I have great ability like all those great mathematicians and make a great theorem, I just think that living like them would suit me better than any other way. Despite the fact that I do not know that if that would be freedom or tragedy…
However, to think over, I am very much used to the fact that I am alone - alone both in pursuing certain knowledge and in lifestyle. Having been alone without much people around me for whole my life...
That is why, I seldom fear to study mathematics. Yet, this is something that I am so acquainted with (although I doubt if I have any ability in mathematics). Maybe this is the reason why I cannot stop mathematics.
Out of blue, I think of a saying...
"Life is as heavy as a mountain, death is as light as a feather."
Can I prove that statement mathematically? Do I really want it? Do I really want this? Whatever I ask, I think I perhaps is a person who can never leave mathematics.
Yet, as long as I have the Pythagoras’s Theorem and Fundamental Theorem of Arithmetic in my brain, I will always be a fake mathematician.
When can I be a real mathematician?
For two days, I missed to go to gym...
Well, I do not enjoy walking in the rain alone - if I am with a girl with an umbrella, I might enjoy......
Today, now, there are lightnings and thunders...
I do not wish to go to gym now, where there is a big chance that I might meet storm on the way return and wet my sneakers and wash again...
Anyway, I didn't sleep for last two days and nights, and I finally slept this morning after studying a little and killing time over the night. I slept around 8 am, after trying all the possibilities that might make me sleepy.
Those are eating noodles, drinking milk, and reading bible...
One strange thing, though, is that I was neither sleepy nor tired...
I was never like ....
I really wanted to sleep, but it was not because I was sleepy or so... It wasa strange experience... but it happened...
I am worrying that I might be experiencing insomnia...hope not, though. I might have plenty of time to study lexicons, but I might be easily embarassed and messs with my concentration...
Wow... Although this blog has disadvantage that my English speaking friends will have hard time going through menu bar because it's all in Korean, I do like the editor here...
Hmm... I really am enjoying this one now...
If zeroboard or such can have editor like this, I will be really pleased...
After all, this is like funchain.com, but better service I think because of what funchain.com was lacking, and the fact that it is of yahoo!... ^^;;
I really mean it... with all the emoticons available...
Hope Yahoo! makes a blog, too just like this one... not Yahoo! Korea...
But I think I am getting satisfied here after funchain.com and blogger.com...
funchain.com certainly lacked what I wanted - privacy in my blog menus - blogger.com was...too simple and... too boring...
Oh well...
I know that I have to use this more...But I think I am enjoying now...
Hmm...should I transfer all my writings from funchain.com? There are just a lot of them in funchain.com....