I do things that are beyond my reasons for love,
because love is above all the reasons.
'Thoughts'에 해당되는 글 46건
- 2009.04.01 Reasons - Above and Beyond of
- 2009.02.19 Plan vs Dream
- 2008.12.30 Upon the Eve of 2009 2
I do things that are beyond my reasons for love,
because love is above all the reasons.
I have been planning for my life all the time.
I have been planning for my life, and I have set a distinct schedule of what things are going to happen until the end of 2012.
But guess what.
In my flight to Houston today,
I realized that I don't have a dream.
One of my dreams was lost with letters of rejections in 2007.
Another dream was shattered lately.
I don't know what's the good of having something planned for next 3 years when there is no dream.
I still want to be a full-time researcher/lecturer economist.
I also want to be somebody specialized in financial risks.
I know the beautiful taste of mathematics, microeconomics, macroeconomics, and now business valuation.
But I don't want to pursue mathematics no more.
I love it, but I don't feel the thirst for it.
My thirst is on economics and finance, now.
But I don't know where to take it.
I told myself that after 3 years, I will decide.
I told my friends that.
But taking steps without any long term goal is just plain senseless to me.
I am the one who likes to stick to the plan, who has to have a clear path.
But I don't have one for myself now.
My dreams were shattered, but here I stand.
Plans mean shit to me. I have to have a dream.
And that has to be a realizable dream.
At my age, I can't chase after ghosts.
I can't chase after ghosts of things I can't achieve, people I can't have around.
I have been planning for my life, and I have set a distinct schedule of what things are going to happen until the end of 2012.
But guess what.
In my flight to Houston today,
I realized that I don't have a dream.
One of my dreams was lost with letters of rejections in 2007.
Another dream was shattered lately.
I don't know what's the good of having something planned for next 3 years when there is no dream.
I still want to be a full-time researcher/lecturer economist.
I also want to be somebody specialized in financial risks.
I know the beautiful taste of mathematics, microeconomics, macroeconomics, and now business valuation.
But I don't want to pursue mathematics no more.
I love it, but I don't feel the thirst for it.
My thirst is on economics and finance, now.
But I don't know where to take it.
I told myself that after 3 years, I will decide.
I told my friends that.
But taking steps without any long term goal is just plain senseless to me.
I am the one who likes to stick to the plan, who has to have a clear path.
But I don't have one for myself now.
My dreams were shattered, but here I stand.
Plans mean shit to me. I have to have a dream.
And that has to be a realizable dream.
At my age, I can't chase after ghosts.
I can't chase after ghosts of things I can't achieve, people I can't have around.
I shall not be fooled with the slight sense of hope that this time frame provides to everyone in the world. It does not change anything about my life.
I make my life on my own, and I set each of the stages of my life.
Not some dumbass time frame that everyone follows.
It ain't mean shit to me.
I am not that desperate to have sense of hope after all.
I myself has been hope for myself in my entire life.
I never needed any deity in my life to have a hold of my life.
I live on my own...
with love and care of my friends (though they may be only a few) and family,
and I live for the others.
I make my life on my own, and I set each of the stages of my life.
Not some dumbass time frame that everyone follows.
It ain't mean shit to me.
I am not that desperate to have sense of hope after all.
I myself has been hope for myself in my entire life.
I never needed any deity in my life to have a hold of my life.
I live on my own...
with love and care of my friends (though they may be only a few) and family,
and I live for the others.
